I feel very in between things lately. I’m temporarily promoted at work while someone much more capable than me is out on maternity leave, but I’m not particularly liking being a temp – still spending silly time wishing for the olden days; it could just be missing the kiddos, I suppose. I’m working on (slowly) getting certain things squared away so that I can possibly teach elementary school in Florida, with the end goal of hopefully being able to do that wherever else we end up that has four seasons.
All the steps to make big changes are so small and slow.
Progress isn’t happening fast enough for me.
I worked so much the last few months and still feel somewhat like I’m recovering. I had the longest cold of my life not too long ago and just want lots of sleep and pretty much just lack general motivation at home. I guess you can get the winter blahs even in Florida where it’s hardly cold – though tonight it will be cold enough that we have to bring our perennial pepper in off the porch.
There need to be picture updates of the garden, but I sold the camera to help make our debt payoff goal for last year. I’ll have to save up again to get another one – though of a different kind since I really had my heart set on a doubly pricey one before…may as well take the time and get the one I’m dreaming of. But for a while, any pictures will probably be of crummy cell phone quality.
I think my life is filled with too much grownup stuff lately. Or I’m getting caught on all the wrong grownup things. Dishes. Laundry. Stupid, necessary, constantly piling up things that somehow managed to get done when I was living the sort of life that included gallivanting around town until 2 or 3 am most days of the week. To be fair, I remember almost falling asleep right in front of my boss while he was talking to me a lot during that time in my life and definitely falling asleep in weird and not very ideal places – whilst getting my eyebrows plucked, hard metal tables outside starbucks – basically I think my priorities were just all over the place if my laundry somehow still managed to get done and away but I thought sleep was entirely optional… sleep when you die…yeah right.
Messy dishes used to be a sign of a good time and friends and I don’t think I used to hate doing them.
I need to readopt some of my college dorm philosophies about messes and how they were just signs and results of the best things in life – friends over for games, dinner, whatever. At some point in almost five years of marriage (guys! I’ve almost been married 5 years!) it just slipped away that I would do Nate’s laundry or dishes for him because I was just so glad that he’s here with me. That’s silly because I’m not any less glad he’s here – in fact I’m pretty sure we both agree that we’re more glad that we’re with each other the longer we’re together. I just need to re-remind myself that it’s a privilege to do the crap work with someone so awesome instead of just doing my own by myself.
My college dorm philosophy: I don’t really like mess, but I do really like how it got here.
I should probably apply that to most of the mundane and boring in my life.
It’s a good thing I’m reminding myself of all this while I hear Nate shaving his beard in the other room – applying positive philosophies to the mess of beard hairs I’ll probably end up cleaning tomorrow.