I’m becoming a soldier of myself in an attempt to capture the inner quiet that I don’t really believe is there. I heard at some point that people’s chi is demonstrated by various colored lines – if this is the case, mine are scribbled all over the place and I’ll be lucky to get them in the lines so to speak, let alone “aligned” or however that can be described.
Nevertheless, I’m terrible at it, and must do yoga in a group to even marginally grasp some semblance of calm and peace after an hour of stretches, let alone arrive at some moment of calm on my own.
I am great at trapping myself with my own self-expectation and ideas about who I think other people expect me to be and it’s rather exhausting being my own worst enemy. So in an attempted truce, I’m waging war against my inner anxiety-ridden nut-job self.