sawdust & diamonds

Posted on January 8, 2010

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textbooks are pending,
possibly indefinitely,
waiting higher up approvals and such.
i shall not say more on the topic for a time.

my car misses florida. it has nearly ended up in a ditch one on occasion
and done a full 180 so you’d think i was headed in the opposite direction when it finally stopped spinning on another
and it takes so long to sputter pitifully to a start.
thank Jesus for my car angels
who keep me and my wheels safe.

it never ceases to amaze me how people i don’t talk to all that often
and who have not spent but a fraction of time around me in person
can more accurately than 99.9% of all people
pick out things i will not just like, but love and adore
and some people who have spent absurd amounts, yea even years around me, haven’t a clue.
it both amuses and confuses me.

being open to receiving
and being honest
and observant
towards my body and mind
has done wonderful things for me lately.
this is not to say my stress is gone, by any means
and i’m pretty sure my brain still doesn’t have a conveyor belt spewing off alpha waves ever…let alone at the right and needed times
but God lives in my muscles, and his goodness is a warm comfort to the sore body and mind that overwork and ceaseless love has gifted me.

Then the system of strings tugs on the tip of my wings
(cut from cardboard and old magazines)
Makes me warble and rise like a sparrow
And in the place where I stood, there is a circle of wood
A cord or two, which you chop and you stack in your barrow

It is terribly good to carry water and chop wood
Streaked with soot, heavy booted and wild-eyed;
As I crash through the rafters
And the ropes and pulleys trail after
And the holiest belfry burns sky-high

Then the slow lip of fire moves across the prairie with precision
While, somewhere, with your pliers and glue you make your first incision
And in a moment of almost-unbearable vision
Doubled over with the hunger of lions
‘Hold me close’, cooed the dove
Who was stuffed, now, with sawdust and diamonds

I wanted to say: why the long face?
Sparrow, perch and play songs of long face
Burro, buck and bray songs of long face!
Sing: I will swallow your sadness and eat your cold clay
Just to lift your long face

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